I am not fat. I am not even skinny though.
Most of the time, I live well with my weight and with my body, but then, if I don’t pay attention for some months on what and how much I eat and drink, my body starts to blow up in some of its parts and I start to have less space in my trousers and feel, when my belly button piercing is curling up, when I sit down. I mean, it is nothing serious, but I always think, it is a sign, that I have to start to stop eating whatever I want to, and I have to start over with my diet.
My diet is well balanced, I bought it some years ago from a nutritionist. I only made it once since then, and it was a real success. I’ve lost four chilos in three weeks, I felt really good.
It contains exactly the amount of carbohydrates, and proteins etc., what my body needs. It prescribes, how many hours of physical activity I need in order to be able to lose more or less one chilogram per week, it focuses on being healthy, but…BUT it doesn’t help me to understand, what I can do with my freetime, when I usually drank a glass of wine, nibbled some doritos with that delicious hot salsa or went for a beer with friends. With the time, when I usually prepare my meal – I am a slow cooker – or the time, when I go around in the grocery store to choose between the wines and the different sorts of cheese, I could buy.
A diet is not only tough, because you have to change, what you eat, but in order to change it into a long-term success, you also have to change your lifestyle. Your habits. You have to support the diet all the time. It is like quitting to smoke or to finish a relationship or job.
You don’t want to be around the coffee shops, where you usually have your Saturday-morning-coffee with a muffin, nor you want to go out for dinner with friends, since the temptation is too high, to eat something or to drink a quantity of alcol, with more chalories, than one entire meal would allow.
Like me today.
Usually I come home from work, sit down on the couch, sip a half glass of wine and check my social networks, pay my bills, load the new translation projects into Trados for the evening working session, then I change my clothes, go to the garden to water my plants, sometimes to the off license store to grab something for the dinner, prepare my dinner with the other half of the glass of wine, while I watch some of the sit-coms, and then finally eat with another – sometimes even two other – glass(es) of wine.
Today? I came home and couldn’t sit down, I went directly into the garden, left out the off-license, prepared my dinner in ten minutes – one slice of brown bread, 150 g of courgette, 150 g chicken breast, 100 g peas, and after I’ve finished to eat it, I started to check out my books on the kindle and to look after a movie on my hard disk, I could watch right after dinner. It was still 6:30 PM!!!!!
It’s like, it woudn’t be me. It is easier to do things, when you are not you, it is like living someone else’s life. (The skinny Kis’ life)
I desperately tried to change my habits in one day, all of them, so I don’t have to think about the usual glass of wine, about the food, I haven’t touched and smelled today. Amazing, how much energy goes into avoiding to do something.
I plan to go through this diet in eight weeks and lose up to five chilos, which would allow then to be in form, and still be in the normal BMI index for my height.
It almost fears me, how attached I am to these food-related time slots. They trigger satisfaction in my brain.
Maybe it would be easier to see the food as a kind of fuel for my body, which allows me to live longer and stay healthy, so to live better. If I think about it in this way, I don’t mind not to drink or eat in the evenings, I just don’t have an answer right now, what I will do with the free hours, I have…
Let’s prepare a cup of tea to relax, tomorrow morning I restart my jogging (instead of a half an hour of BBC news)