You know, when this social networking started? Facebook was long ago on its way, before it became fashionable. I got an invitation from a family member, where I used to babysit in 2006. Jees, 6 years ago? I signed up, like I was signed up for MSN or other networks in that time like myspace or something. Does anyoone remember? It was just another possibility to set a new imprint in the internet. (Imprint in the internet, I also remember one of my courses on the international university in Venice, where we had to write papers every week about a political topic, and our teacher promised us, to get one of us into the first 10 search results on google for the best paper on one of the topics (2004)..In that year being on google was like having won the Big Brother now. If I google myself now, I am not only in the first 10 results, I am the first 10 results…)
A Hungarian social network started in the same year – maybe, I signed up for that too in 2006 or was it 2007? -, it is called iwiw (independent who is who). I was already living abroad since 7 years by then, so I really enjoyned reconnecting with old friends. I first started with my best friends, lots of them were not even registered yet.
Once it became famous, I got lots of invitations from people, I haven’t even remembered. You know, so many things happened in my life, the older memories got greyed out, sometimes I was remembered by good friends on stories, I apparently was part of, but I just can’t recall with the same enthusiasm, or I can’t recall at all.
When the collection of the good friends was complete, I just browsed the “you may know” lists, and found some people, who were already the friends of my friends.
Once I found an ex of mine, who was living in France since 1998 and the only news I got from him since we broke up, was, that the Hungarian police was searching him, since missing person. I found him on facebook and connected to him, like in a minute. It was so funny, the Hungarian police apparently hasn’t used facebook back then.
We started to chat with him about the past 6 years. I learned that he is a proud father and lives with a beautiful girl. After that day we came back to each other sometimes, then we just liked each other’s photos and then nothing. I don’t remember, when I saw him the last time sharing anything. (oversharing, undersharing?) I even was thinking, that if he is signed up, he has the duty of informing me about his life, I am part of it again. (he let over 500 people to be part of his life though).
But this is just like social networks work, you know someone, you get in touch and secure the connection, since you can reconnect in every minute, than you realize that or you don’t have a goddamn thing to talk about, so it was a good decision not to keep up with the friendship/relation or so much time is over, that there is no point to get in touch again. What to do then? Unfriend? (named word of the year in 2009) It is rude…you can move him to the list of people, from whom you don’t want to see the updates, since newest.
It makes me think of how some people stay friends with the exes. I never could manage it. I still can’t decide, if it is a healthy relation to stay friends after a relationship is over. You broke up because you couldn’t agree or you cheated or you lived another life, why is there the need not to let go? Is it so hard to start over and realize that you are different? Yes, I don’t like black and whiting, although my rules are so strict sometimes. And I even was searching for my own ex in France, I just wanted to know, if he is ok maybe.